Friday, January 21, 2011

Sewing the peices....

So I didn't really think that sewing hearts would be funny until I realized that the last time I posted was when Zach was breaking my heart personally. Things are still really awkward there but I think it is because I don't really know where I feel so talking just isn't there... I know I tried tonight. Then again talking to everyone but Erin and Jack today has been awkward other than Mym. But we will get back to all of that....
I have finally finished knitting Ashley's Scarf (a CNA from work). I am so excited and I cant wait to give it to her eventually. I love the fact that I was able to use the yarn from the blanket my mom started to make Kat; however I still have a lot of the yarn left. The scarf itself did leave me with a tiny ball of green yarn that I really couldn't figure out a use for other than to add it to the bin with the other random unusable balls of yarn but instead at 3:30 yesterday morning; (its12:41am now) I decided to figure out how to crochet tiny hearts. They were really easy and only take about 3 minutes to make so I decided that I will continue to make the hearts and put them into a bag to find a better use for the yard. I also have been trying to figure out how to make butterflies and flowers so we will see what we come up with later. So far with the limited resources right now I have only been able to create a barrette with some spare green buttons and one of the green hearts. So now I have 2 barrettes officially. One with eyes and one with a heart. lol. While talking with both Jack and Mym in the last few days I have also thought of recreating on some of my old tee shirts and Mym recommending putting 4 of the hearts together for a clover which is why they are together in the photo above. I am trying to think of how I would like to put them together when I finally get to that point. Since I have so much spare thinking time lately... my creative mind has been keeping me up with lots of ideas for the future and trying to get them all on paper is rough. lol.
As far as life outside of the crafting world....Its a little rocky. There is still a lot of tension between me and Zach and the more I try and just ignore it... the more he is driving me nuts. Jack however has been keeping me sane and keeping me going. I am trying to get my life picked up a little bit before Sara's wedding and everything but its getting harder. This week, another member of our class passed away and that really threw everyone further into the loop and I think the rest of our class; myself included is feeling a slight hint of depression as well. Since 2004 we should only have had 1 class reunion which would have been the summer of 2009 and since 2004 we have had close to 6 reunions all but one being funerals. That is not counting people who have also been permanently injured. As I was talking to Mym about it... If people aren't passing away they most certainly aren't in PA anymore. The class of 2004 feels as though it is becoming extinct and with each funeral all of our lives are pulled a little deeper into what life really is....short. It seems to put things into perspective and for me it almost makes me feel like I have failed. I have been given a journey and have been fighting for so long that I just dont have the strength but even now when I want to give up.... I realize that I am still here and with that I must continue fighting where I left off because I am still here to do so. I dont really know the purpose but I know Im not finished and that leads me here. Right now laying down knowing that tomorrow when I get up... this journey is going to get 10 times harder but Im praying that I will find the strength to make it. Maybe even find away thru the sadness in the process....

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