Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Broken Hearts....

"In your anger do not sin; When you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent." Psalm 4:4

Lately I feel I have been falling off my path. I know I have mentioned this before because I have felt this way for awhile. But apparently now it is a full fledge feeling and I need to start dealing with it. Surprisingly I was able to talk to someone that I used to work with at the Village the other day and something she said made me realize that I have given up on life because I stopped trusting God with everything. I was doing so good and so happy because I was relaying on Him and I somehow got away from this path. I have been so angry with everything going on in my life that I have been trying to figure out what I did wrong. My family doesnt get me and the other half that does get me I feel like I am letting down. I realized that I am completely alone. Even the guy I am dating would rather spend time with his ex then me on my weekend off although when it comes to the trip we are taking I am the one who is suppose to do all the work...yet again? Why do I always choose men before my own happiness...why do I always choose men who steer me away from God and my path. I started picking my bible up again and reading through Psalms when I came across the verse above. So now I am thinking.... I am really listening to myself and again I have decided to be single. I am still listening to my heart aparently because I am about to cry again and still dont know what I am doing. I think I need to figure out and listen to who I am and what I love and then go from there.

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