Friday, November 30, 2012

Daybook 11-30-12


Outside my window: Its not really sunny but not snowing which is amazing for the last day of November!

I am thinking...  Of what I want to cook today now that I can eat solid foods. 

I am thankful... God allowing me to find a new church family that cares so much and a church that encourages my learning.And for the new place that I am moving into and the friends who are helping me do so. 

In the Kitchen... boxes because I'm unpacking my kitchen.

I am wearing... jeans and a sweater because i had to go to the dentist.

I am creating... I'm creating a lot of different Christmas presents with yarn as well as gifts for a few new girls who are about to have babies. 


I am going... to the store and then to my new home to watch Christmas movies with my best friend and eat french toast.  

I am wondering... Still How wonderful 2013 is going to be. 

I am reading... My bible....

I am hoping... That life finally starts slowing down enough that I can enjoy being home longer than a week and that this move will go smoothly. 

I am looking forward to... decorating my new home. :0)

I am learning... I am still learning patience as each day goes on and That I need to be completely comfortable with myself as a person and learn who I am before I am able to add another person to it. 

Around the house... A lot of boxes. Unpacking now thanks to the help from the people at my church and my friends. :0)

I am pondering... what i would like to get at the store for food today. :0) 

A Favorite Quote for the day: 



One of my favorite things... my crochet hook. It is able to go with me anywhere which is amazing in my condition right now. :0)

A few plans for the rest of the week: Resting; Doctors appts, and back to the dentist on Tuesday.

A peek into my day: 

Sadly I done have a picture for today because im not at my house and im not sure where my cable is for my camera at the moment. 

Well that would be it for now. If you would like to try this for yourself...go to this blog....
Otherwise...until next time...Keep Smiling! 

Monday, November 19, 2012

Daybook 11-19-12


Outside my window: It's actually rather beautiful today for being the middle of November. :0) The sun is shining and its not too cold out right now at the moment.  

I am thinking...  I am also thinking of how excited I am about moving in 2 weeks and what all I need to do before then to prepare. 

I am thankful... God allowing me to find a new church family that cares so much and a church that encourages my learning.And for the new place that I am moving into and the friends who are helping me do so. 

In the Kitchen... In my kitchen there are a few dirty plates and boxes as i am packing a lot of stuff up. 

I am wearing... slacks and a dress shirt along with new sneakers. Getting ready to head into the hospital for the day.  

I am creating... I'm creating a lot of different Christmas presents with yarn as well as gifts for a few new girls who are about to have babies. Finally finished the blanket I was working on though. 



I am going... to the hospital in about 2 hours for P.T. and a meeting. Praying things work out for the best.  

I am wondering... Still How wonderful 2013 is going to be. 

I am reading... My bible and a book my sister lent me called Good Omens. (Still the same thing because I have been kinda slow on reading the book)

I am hoping... That life finally starts slowing down enough that I can enjoy being home longer than a week and that this move will go smoothly. 

I am looking forward to... 2013 and moving. I am excited to start living and creating a home that I can be proud of and just start getting my life back on track. 

I am learning... I am still learning patience as each day goes on and That I need to be completely comfortable with myself as a person and learn who I am before I am able to add another person to it. 

Around the house... A lot of boxes. Packing things slowly as I can and trying to get each room packed and cleaned as I go. :0) 

I am pondering... If I want to get up and crawl into bed or just sit here a little longer and enjoy being home. 

A Favorite Quote for the day: 

There is actually a BarlowGirl song with these words in it and it is a very important song in my life. 

One of my favorite things... my best friend Beth. I refer to her as my sunshine but really I have been so blessed to have her in my life in the last year. Its amazing to have a friend who I can talk to about no matter what I'm feeling and it has really helped me not only get through a lot of this but also keep my faith strong in the process. 

A few plans for the rest of the week: Resting; Doctors appts, Thanksgiving and birthdays and then i am getting teeth pulled on Friday.  

A peek into my day: 



Well that would be it for now. If you would like to try this for yourself...go to this blog....
Otherwise...until next time...Keep Smiling! 

Happy Blanket finished...

With everything going on in the last month, I have finally been able to complete the happy blanket that I was working on for our pastor's wife Karen. I chose a daisy block to try something new and it turned out great....here are the pictures.







I was trying to figure out where I found the pattern for the block again but with everything being packed I am having no luck finding the print out. So as I unpack and find it I will have to post it. :0)
Now I am off to working on crocheting things for Christmas gifts. :0) 

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Daybook 11-14-12


Outside my window: Its very cold and there is a very light snow fall still on the ground from this morning. 

I am thinking... Of how Amazing God is for allowing me to come home yesterday and then spend today with my best friends and family. I am also thinking about all I need to do to catch up on life such as laundry and dishes. lol. 

I am thankful... I am thankful for Life, family and friends. Im very thankful for the doctors at D.F. and here at Millcreek. Im thankful for the new possibilities starting to take place for the future and that I am feeling well enough to enjoy things again. 

In the Kitchen... In my kitchen there are a few dirty plates and pans but really there is still craft stuff on my table from when I left a month ago. 

I am wearing... I am wearing my sweats because I spent the day with my best friend and its cold outside. lol. 

I am creating... I'm creating a lot of different Christmas presents with yarn as well as gifts for a few new girls who are about to have babies. 

I am going... to see my sister on Saturday to help set up the Christmas tree and then to church on Sunday if Im feeling up to it. 

I am wondering... How wonderful 2013 is going to be. 

I am reading... My bible and a book my sister lent me called Good Omens. (Still the same thing because I have been kinda slow on reading the book)

I am hoping... That life finally starts slowing down enough that I can enjoy being home longer than a week and if Christmas will turn out ok this year. 

I am looking forward to... 2013. and Christmas 2012. Really all the holidays because I will be with family and friends that love me. I am also really excited to be able to go to church again to a place where I learn and praise so much. :0)

I am learning... I am still learning patience as each day goes on and I am still learning a lot about myself and Zach as people. I am also learning a lot about my family although not is all good: sometimes we see others true colors in the worst situations. 

Around the house... baskets of laundry that needs done and yarn from the crafts I was just working on. Otherwise dreams floating around from sleeping heads. 

I am pondering... If I want to get up and crawl into bed or just sit here a little longer and enjoy being home. 

A Favorite Quote for the day: 


One of my favorite things... my best friend Beth. I refer to her as my sunshine but really I have been so blessed to have her in my life in the last year. Its amazing to have a friend who I can talk to about no matter what I'm feeling and it has really helped me not only get through a lot of this but also keep my faith strong in the process. 

A few plans for the rest of the week: Resting; Doctors appts and then Decorating a tree with Katie and hopefully Church on Sunday. 

A peek into my day: 
The sun I drew on the car after it snowed this morning. 



Well that would be it for now. If you would like to try this for yourself...go to this blog....
Otherwise...until next time...Keep Smiling! 

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Daybook 11-8-12


Outside my window: Last I heard it was only 21 degrees here because of the Winter Storm hitting this area now. I cant see outside but I can still here the strong winds and that kinda scares me. 

I am thinking... I am thinking about my best friend who isnt feeling to great tonight and for the family of a lady I used to take care off who passed away last night. I am rather missing the people back home. 

I am thankful... I am thankful for my family and friends who have taken the time over the last few weeks to check in and talk and pray with and for me. I was able to practice standing with the new leg today and also take 4 steps at the bars in the P.T. 

In the Kitchen... I'm in the hospital still so Im still not sure what happens in the kitchen here but I think this late it is probably empty. 

I am wearing... I am wearing my own PJs! I have been making it a point to get myself dressed and back into my pjs everyday to try and rebuild my strength. So far I am 2 for 3 of changing my clothes twice a day. 

I am creating... I'm still working on the same blanket but I am almost finished. I cant wait to show everyone what it looks like but because it is a surprise and hard to take pictures here; everyone is going to have to wait. Sorry. 

I am going... no where for awhile but found out that I should be home the week before Christmas! Cant wait! 

I am wondering... How I could possibly send a care package to my younger sister who is in college and about to start finals season. 

I am reading... My bible and a book my sister lent me called Good Omens. (Still the same thing because I have been kinda slow on reading the book)

I am hoping... That everyone who was hit with the hurricane and was left without heat for this bad winter storm has a semi warm place to stay. This is really effecting a lot. 

I am looking forward to... Learning more how to walk, and function again. Now that things are picking up in P.T. I am excited to be working so hard even though it hurts. I am also looking forward to Christmas home with my best friends and family. 

I am learning... I am learning how to be patient for one. I am learning how to stand with the prosthetic as well as relearning how to walk. I have learned how to dress and bathe myself without my leg and I have also learned a lot of new tricks from some other patients I have met here thanks to my doctor. :0)

Around the house... Well I'm sure the craft supplies are still all over my house however I was told this week my sister has invaded so Im sure they are in a pile in the corner somewhere. 

I am pondering... How long this happy blanket might take and what colors to do in the next one. 

A Favorite Quote for the day: 


One of my favorite things... my best friend Beth. I refer to her as my sunshine but really I have been so blessed to have her in my life in the last year. Its amazing to have a friend who I can talk to about no matter what I'm feeling and it has really helped me not only get through a lot of this but also keep my faith strong in the process. 

A few plans for the rest of the week: Still resting a lot but also doing a lot of P.T. otherwise crocheting hopefully. 

A peek into my day: 
Still  don't really have any photos to put here right now. Sorry. 


Well that would be it for now. If you would like to try this for yourself...go to this blog....
Otherwise...until next time...Keep Smiling! 

Friday, November 2, 2012

In Person...

I figured enough time has gone by since I posted a real post and not a Daybook so I just wanted to let people know that yes I am still hanging in. Things are still really rocky and I am still really sore but I do plan on posting more on here as things progress than on my facebook. My sister and step mom have been updating a great deal but there are a lot of people on facebook who are friends for the wrong reasons and they are just people who I don't need pity from now. At the moment my rehab is on hold due to intestinal problems which were surgically repaired yesterday. I'm on a clear liquid diet until I'm told otherwise which stinks and I'm trying to move as little as possible so my guts don't feel like they are falling out. All in all....I'm doing ok. Emotionally I will admit that I have hit some low points but I am just very tired and I promise this doesn't at all mean I am giving up. My team here and I have a set plan for the next few months and although it is a slow moving plan; I feel it is a great plan and really can only take things one week at a time. This week is just to rest. Know that I love you all and I thinking of home all the time. Praying the weather hasn't gotten most of you down; but everyone is enjoying the seasons as they change. I will post again as things start moving more here so until we meet again....Keep Smiling

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Daybook 10-30-12


Outside my window: Still very cold and windy. Getting the after math of Hurricane Sandy. 

I am thinking... I'm thinking how I need to start a budget for when I get home

I am thankful... I am thankful for best friends and my sister who took leave to be with me during my rehab time.  

In the Kitchen... I'm in the hospital still so Im praying its something good. although it will be a few days before i can find out. 

I am wearing... I lovely hospital gown supporting the color pink today. 

I am creating... I'm still working on the same blanket but I have been sick so it seems to have slowed down. 

I am going... no where today. Just resting. 

I am wondering... How bad the storm hit my home and whether my garbage can is missing. 

I am reading... My bible and a book my sister lent me called Good Omens. 

I am hoping... That things start getting better and my counts start coming up. 

I am looking forward to...Finally getting to eat anything!

I am learning... I am learning A Lot right now. That I need help in my daily activities and how to live on my own. Simple things like getting from the bed to chair and I am also learning a lot about myself spiritually. 

Around the house... Well I'm sure the craft supplies are still all over my house considering I haven't been home to pick them up. lol. But here in my bed I also have yarn everywhere. lol. 

I am pondering... How long this happy blanket might take and what colors to do in the next one. 

A Favorite Quote for the day: Romans 5:5

One of my favorite things... still my crochet hook. lol. 

A few plans for the rest of the week: Resting while my body fights the GVHD and then getting back to therapy so I can go home! 

A peek into my day: 
I don't really have any photos to put here right now. Sorry. 


Well that would be it for now. If you would like to try this for yourself...go to this blog....
Otherwise...until next time...Keep Smiling! 

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

DayBook 10-23-12


Outside my window: Its cold and rainy. Preparing for winter I suppose. 

I am thinking... How different life is going to be when I get home now that my leg is gone. 

I am thankful... I am thankful for best friends and my step mom for being here when the rest of my family deals with petty fighting.  

In the Kitchen... I'm in the hospital so I'm not sure whats in the kitchen but I pray my doctor is no where near it with her track record of blowing up microwaves and toasters. 

I am wearing... The Dino T-shirt I made for the family this summer and a pair of shorts. 

I am creating... I am working on a special Happy Blanket for someone who is newer to my life but still an amazing lady. 

I am going... no where today. Just relaxing until I'm allowed to restart PT

I am wondering... How long I will be stuck here and what time my sister will be here today. 

I am reading... My bible and a book my sister lent me called Good Omens. 

I am hoping... That things start getting better and my counts start coming up. 

I am looking forward to... My sister getting here! 

I am learning... I am learning A Lot right now. That I need help in my daily activities and how to live on my own. Simple things like getting from the bed to chair and I am also learning a lot about myself spiritually. 

Around the house... Well I'm sure the craft supplies are still all over my house considering I haven't been home to pick them up. lol. But here in my bed I also have yarn everywhere. lol. 

I am pondering... How long this happy blanket might take and what colors to do in the next one. 

A Favorite Quote for the day: Psalms 46:10

One of my favorite things... still my crochet hook. lol. 

A few plans for the rest of the week: Resting while my body fights the GVHD and then getting back to therapy so I can go home! 

A peek into my day: 

This really isn't a peek into my day but a photo taken a few weeks ago for an article but it is the last picture taken with my leg so its kinda of a sad picture to me but oh so pretty because I love those shoes! 

Well that would be it for now. If you would like to try this for yourself...go to this blog....
Otherwise...until next time...Keep Smiling! 

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Crazy Updates

There are actually a great deal of updates since I last posted.. I have been really sick and so has Riah. Riah ended up with Appendicitis and had her Appendix removed earlier this week and it currently at home resting and cracking funny joke so that is great news. I however had a huge run in with my GVHD and between the damage it was causing to my leg and the damage it was causing my kidney; Meg had to remove my leg after all. At first I thought it was going to be the worst thing in the world but, I have felt all the benefits to it being gone just since it was removed. I never realized how much infection my leg held and although it is going to be a life changing experience for sure, I am already making good progress according to Meg. I suppose it helped that when they first replaces my femur with a rod; I had to get used to doing things without putting pressure on my leg; not that I want to say it but I think today it was easier trying to get into the chair and bathroom without having the leg to fumble over and I was able to do more by myself than when I first had the rod put in. I have no doubts that this is going to be a hard rehab especially learning to walk with a prosthetic but I have decided that i am up for the challenge. I am not sure what God has planned for me in all of this but I know He is working in my life is many ways and so I am just taking it one day at a time. 
Before I ended up here however....I did have a few good moments around being sick where I put together some Halloween costumes for my friends Daughters. She had the shoes for Dorothy but wanted to have a costume for her daughter to wear over her coat and this is what I came up with. 

The 2nd Costume is suppose to be the Good Witch of the East. Amanda wanted to keep both girls in the Wizard of Oz theme so this is what I also came up with. In the end I'm glad that we chose the good witch instead of the Scarecrow. 


I also have been crocheting a lot and made some Halloween headbands for some of the nurses I used to work with, but I didn't get the chance to take pictures of those. I am however working on 3 blankets at this moment so I will be able to post pics of those as I work on them more. 
Otherwise not much else is going on, resting and waiting to get into rehab motion. I know I will be here into January for rehab and recovery for my kidney and so they can watch my GVHD until everything heals. I will keep everyone posted though! 
Until then...Keep Smiling! 

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Daybook 10-16-12

Outside my window: Right now it is 11pm so I imagine those crazy cats from behind the fence are running around my back yard. Honestly...its very cold so I'm not going to look. 

I am thinking... I am thinking about what I'm going to create next and whether its too soon to return to church. 

I am thankful... I am thankful that I got my mother's crafting skills. I know this sounds silly but I really did thank her tonight. She always made out costumes and now at 26 I am making them for my friends kids. 

In the Kitchen... There are freshly made chocolate chips cookies from today's many adventures. 

I am wearing... Jeans and a white sweater which is covered in food because I held my nieces both right after eating. 

I am creating... Costumes from wizard of oz for my best friends daughters. I am also working on 2 blankets. 

I am going... Its 11pm. I'm not going anywhere but to the shower and bed! 

I am wondering... If they will make a 3rd Sherlock Holmes movie. Thanks to Zach; I rather fancy the first two. 

I am reading... My bible and a book my sister lent me called Good Omens. 

I am hoping... That my stomach stops hurting so I can rest. 

I am looking forward to... This weekend. I'm giving Amanda the girls costumes and having a girls day with my mom and sisters. 

I am learning... That I have to allow people to take care of me and how to be loved. 

Around the house... craft supplies EVERYWHERE! 

I am pondering... What to work on after I get finished with this post. lol. 

A Favorite Quote for the day: Romans 5

One of my favorite things... my crochet hook. lol. 

A few plans for the rest of the week: 4 trips to the hospital, finishing costumes and curtains and spending time with people I love. 

A peek into my day: 
Working on making a "Good Witch" shirt. 

Well that would be it for now. If you would like to try this for yourself...go to this blog....
Otherwise...until next time...Keep Smiling! 


Friday, October 12, 2012

Funny Moments of the Day....

I completely forgot to share this with you all in the last post but considering how much I laughed I wanted to post this just to clear the air about some rumors.... As most of you know; I have moved 3 times this summer. Not because if financial issues but because of either health or family issues. So I am now residing in Erie and if you want the new address please email me for it. But here is the funny part.... I used to live in a house owned by my Grandfather (who passed) and since his death, my brother has been trying to rebuild the house from the inside out. No one currently lives there but apparently even after all the address changes we both still get mail there. Well because of recent travels; my Grandparents on my dad's side have been collecting my mail from both the old house and my current house. Now for the story....
Today I got the best surprise when who should walk in my hospital room this afternoon but my Grandpa and Zach. Now my grandpa looked so excited to be here and Zach...well he looked like he was either about to pass out or throw up because apparently what should arrive in my mail at the old house?....


But a wedding planning magazine which was really spam and 2 cards that were mailed by the Pastors wife at the church I started going to who sells the Close to My Heart Scrap booking products that I love and just switched to her as my consultant. Why would Zach be looking ill you might wonder?? well The cards Karen sent me came in see through envelopes and my grandpa didn't know what CTMH stood for and since it said consultant and came with a wedding book and he could see there were cards...He assumed Zach and I were getting married! Zach was sick because he spent the entire plane ride with my Grandpa insisting that it wasn't what he though and he didn't know what CTMH was either! When they came in through the door and it was dropped on my bed I just about died from laughing. I didn't even mind the terrible pain from laughing but needless to say...the cards were a thank you card and an invitation to a scrap booking event and the magazine really was spam and wasn't even sent to my correct name. lol. So both boys can breath a little easier tonight but Im still laughing. That just shows what assumptions get ya and No we are not planning a big shin dig that no one knows about. I just had to share this with you.
Ok now that I can breathe again after all that laughing.. I really am going to rest.
Love you all and Keep Smiling!

Short Version of Recent Events...

So I have been meaning to post but due to illness and then getting a new kidney; I have been well to busy and semi drugged to post. The last week has been a pretty big blur but I can start with last weekend when although I really didn't feel good, I had a blast because Saturday I spent almost all day with my best friend Beth; (often referred to as sunshine) and we just sat around are chatted. It was so nice to just sit around and talk in person finally and not on the phone with 3 or more hours between us. It felt so nice being home the few days I was home that I cant wait to return home after this stay and finally be home longer than a week. Sadly last Saturday night I ended up not feeling very well but still pushed myself to go to church which is much needed. I would love to say that Zach finally went with me and He actually enjoyed it. He didn't mind driving and we actually made a day of it. After we church we decided to try and find Zach another leather needle which was a bust but we did finally get the bubbles and glow sticks to try to glow in the dark bubble idea which was a huge fail and not to mention we did confirm that glow sticks really do have glass in them and are NOT child friendly. While doing so....we found Zach's famous hats!

 and then...I found a matching hat and the games began....

Shortly after arriving home and resting, I got a call asking me to come into Millcreek for dialysis because my counts and central line was down and I could feel myself getting sick. One thing lead to another...I ended up getting sent to Cleveland then to Boston and now we are here and I am happy to say that I have a new kidney given to me by one of my younger sisters. One of the greatest gift I could have ever received on top of marrow that she has already given me twice. She really is a blessing. :0) Mariah and I are both doing great and She is set to go home Monday and I will return to Cleveland until my counts continue to come up. :0) Then in a few weeks I will also get to return home and back to my "normal" life; if I even know what that is. I really cant wait though! 
Well I think I am going to go rest for a bit but I will return and I will try and stay update more with my posting and my scrap booking. Slowly my energy is returning and I cant wait to share more with everyone. 
Love you all and Keep Smiling! 




Thursday, October 4, 2012

Whats next?

I'm sorry to say this is not a happy post. I am really lost right now because although I have gotten the best news ever this past week, each day I am reminded that just because I have a clean scan; things just don't snap back to being simple. I am still 40 pounds under weight, I can barely move and my counts are too low to go out....So when do things finally get back to normal and really after 8 years...what is normal? I want to know because I honestly don't think I know what it is. I was looking at my goals from when I was first diagnosed and I realized that I have literally after Monday; outlived all of my people to fight for other than Zach and Kat. That terrifies me. I am missing out on saying goodbye to the only other fatherly figures in my life because of being in Cleveland again for complications and it just really hit me hard this week. Like crying for 3 days straight crying. I don't know what I am suppose to do from here. I have always been strong in my faith, and I always knew God had a greater plan for me but as I sit here in the bed tonight, I cant help but wondering what is my purpose? And why is it so lonely? Why do I feel more lost now than ever? 
.....I'm just not sure. I guess I have a lot on my heart and a lot to pray for; I'm just really tired of fighting and really tired of crying so now I'm just praying God hears my silent prayers from my very tired heart. 

Friday, September 28, 2012

2909...

That's how many days it has taken for me to finally get a clean scan. :0) So finally, just 11 days shy of 8 years...I'm in remission. :0) The words are still very overwhelming to me. I cant even begin to describe the feelings I have right now. This is a time to celebrate. :0) I'm home, finally starting to make progress, I have clean scans...so what am I doing now? lol. Actually I'm doing laundry. HA HA! I still have a lot of rehab to do and a lot to get used to but at least I don't have the heavy feeling over me wondering if everything is going to work. Now I get to worry about normal stuff like work and chores and I get to help encourage and be there for my friends in their journeys just as much as they have been there for me. There is still so much more I want to do and after my rehab on my femur I know I can do almost all of it. :0) I just cant wait either!


Sunday, September 23, 2012

Progress!

So I am just going to cut to the chase to say that I finally stood after a month of battling infections and the fear of loosing my leg. I also finally got to take a shower since I have the wound vac and they were able to cover both ports from getting wet and it was a wonderful feeling. I can tell you that I weight 84 pounds clean and dressed but that is still a far cry from 115. I'm getting there though. Finally starting to eat food and making progress. Other than that, my sisters managed to sneak in this weekend against advisement and I'm SO thankful that they did. I am also very thankful for Beth and our great talks. I think I might have mentioned that she gave me homework the other day when we talked but after trying to do it and seeing that our bibles are too different....I had to beg for a KJV to be allowed in the room after the cleaning process and now my interest is sparked to see just how different all my favorite verses are between the 2 versions. (I have NIV). Otherwise I still feel like I am learning a great deal even though I haven't been to church in awhile and that is just a blessing and answered prayer for me. I love that I have a friend that I can share EVERYTHING on my mind with. Fears, dreams, Goals and that keeps me learning and encouraging me not only physically but spiritually. Its definitely an answered prayer. 
Otherwise I have just been resting, enjoying my sisters and brother's company, scrap booking with Studio J and crocheting. So not much at all. lol. NOT. Here are a few pictures and then I am off to rest. 
Blanket I am making for Kassie



Keep Smiling!

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Day 27

Its crazy to think that it has been 27 days already. This last week alone has been kind of a blur to me and a bad blur at that but I will say that I am very thankful to be here with 10 fingers and 10 toes. :0) I am also very thankful because even though this last week as left me in very poor health; I am thankful to say that I was blessed with some very special friends and family and I could have never gotten it through without their love and constant reminder that I am loved and that God is on our side. :0) Things are finally starting to pick up. My infection is starting to go away with the help of a wound vac and my counts are starting to come up. I was at 456 as of today. I have a lot of goals that I will have to complete before going home and starting money; I am in for a long road of recovery to get back to normal. Before getting back home I will need to get rid of the cath and be able to walk to the bathroom and back. I will have to be able to get myself dressed and I will have to weight at least 115 pounds. Sounds like a easy task sure...unless you are the one weighing 82 pounds and stuck in bed with not energy. But I know that within time it will come up. I will also have to have my counts up to 1000 for at least 2 weeks so Beth and I are counting....each day we wait. We have so many plans for when we can finally see each other. :0) I know that I wont be able to do much when I first get home because I will still have rehab and my counts have to be really up before I can do anything but I still cant wait to just be home and able to do crafts in my own house. :0) 
Did I mention that I was finally allowed to have yarn?! Meg had to clean it properly before it could come in which takes literally 3 days but so worth it! Meet Sunshine and Sunbeam....
Since I was allowed yarn I have made almost 7 of these bunnies. One bunny is still in need of ears  but after one of my long talks with Sunshine....we decided to leave the last bunny without ears so he can "hear no evil". lol. If only people knew the conversations between the two of us. God really has blessed me with a best friend during this time. I could never be thankful enough for her and her encouraging words lately. I am also very thankful for my brother and my step mom....well and all my little sisters. Its amazing to have such a strong support system. and lets definitely not forget GOD. I am very thankful to be here writing this at all right now and although I have a LONG way to go from here I am very thankful for answered prayers and God helping me with my patience in being stuck here. I plan on using the time wisely between bible studies with my brother, scrap booking, crocheting and of coarse lots of rehab in different areas. lol. But in the end I know it will be a start of a whole new chapter in my life...after 8 years; can you believe it? I cant and as the 8 year date is only a few weeks away all I can think of is wow....8 years is a long cry from 6 months and I'm thanking God for all of it. Both good and Bad. Sure there are parts I would love to trade in but there is no part of it that didn't make me or the people around me the people they are today and so even though I have struggled a lot I am thankful for God's unknown purpose of and in my life. 
Well I guess now that I have written most of everything in my heart I should try and sleep considering its almost 4am. But I would like to say one more thing....to the random person who sent me yellow roses even though I cant have them in the room... I love you so much right now. Whoever you are, (and I have a few guesses) I am very thankful that you care enough to carry on my grandpas legacy enough to keep my spirits up. It means a great deal to me and the yellow roses of hope will not go without much thanks. They are beautiful. 
Now I am off to bed. Praying for you all from my little room. 
Keep Smiling!

Friday, September 14, 2012

Canso's and Kutless

A lot of things have happening in my life and my family's that for privacy sake I cant post here but I can say that we could use a lot of prayer for my sister Ashely and her family. As for me, I have been here over 3 weeks now and it just seems like forever but things are starting to pick up. They are not sure what is going to happen with my leg but sadly we will know in a few hours; or once I wake up anyways. No matter what though I know that it is for the best. Everything has a purpose and I know things will work out in the end. So other than being scared of not knowing what will happen next and what Purpose God has in all this after an 8 year battle; I just know that I love HIM and my family and best friends. Not to mention all the doctors who are struggling right now because after 8 years of struggling, they are so close to beating this with me. We CAN do this guys! I can feel it. :0)
As for the Canso and Kutless.... I know a few of you have been following me for a few years now and remember back in 2010, I received something called a CANSO. It was a small necklace that was shaped in the form of a person dancing. It is suppose to represent my spirit. It also came with a paper explaining what it was and this is what it said...
"I am your CanSo...
I am a visual representation of your indomitable spirit.
Look Closely...
...I am a body in motion, to signify the carefully orchestrated steps you take as you move through this journey we call life. 
I am not running away from the enormous challenges you face, but instead putting my best foot forward and staying one step ahead of them. 
I am carrying your heart with me every step of the way. Know that I will never lose heart no matter how dark the days might become. 
I am blanketed in white to encourage you to blanket yourself in the light, peace and purity you need to heal... and my iridescence reminds you not to let this challenge take your sparkle from you. 
I am small enough to be held in your hand to keep you ever mindful of the fragility of life.
I am all those things, but more importantly I am here so when they say you can't. you will never forget...
....You CanSo!
Along with my faith and Bible, this has often been hung close by to remind me that it will be ok. I dont know why it gives me a calm sense but up until Lately it has been hanging in my living room so it is the first thing I see when walking into my house. Thankfully when I needed it the most; one of my best friends brought it to me last night along with my Happy Blanket. 
As for the Kutless part of the title.... A friend of mine introduced me to this song the other night and I have been playing it almost non stop sense. It made me cry at first because it has hit so close to home. I really do mean it when I say that I love God no matter what today and tomorrow brings. With HIM I know I can get through anything. Anyways, I shall post the song so you can listen for yourself. Then I am off to determine the fate of my leg. :0( 
Praying for all of you and hope you are all Smiling! 

Kutless "Even If"

Monday, September 3, 2012

Hurry Up and Wait....

Its seems like a lot has happened since the last time I blogged. We moved Katie into college and Ash and the kids moved in with my parents and all of the kids have since started school. Every ones' lives seem to have changed majorly with school starting but so far they all seem to be for the better even though I miss my nieces and nephew a lot. They were kinda a lot to handle really early in the morning but they were rather entertaining. I would like to even say that things in the new apartment are coming together more as well but really, I have been to sick to really get the chance to do much more with the apartment. The only think I have been doing other than being at the hospital since the last time I have blogged was photo shoots and crocheting. Both of which I love and now that my entire life seems to be on hold due to illness and treatments; I think its time to finally get into the scrap booking that I have been meaning to do. I have SO Many pictures and since the next 6 months are going to be different non-the-less. I think that is the best option. So don't be surprised if you see a lot of photos popping up after I get done over at Studio J working on the pages. :0) Its going to be more fun because Zach is going to be helping me get them all into albums. :0) Its so great to have some supportive friends. Otherwise I will be popping in and out between now and Christmas but not much will be happening here because of health. :0( Anyways....now time for pictures! lol. 

Here's what I have been doing before ending up here in health limbo.....
Blanket and Lion for Beth's sister

Ashely's kids the last week I had them

Kassie's Elizibethian Gown


So these are just some of the things you will see popping up in the scrap booking pages. I'm really getting excited to finally be stuck in bed long enough to get this done. Is that sad? Maybe its just making the best out of a long situation...who knows. I just know its back to the waiting game and waiting for my counts to start picking up and kicking in. 

Keep Smiling!