Saturday, August 6, 2011

Love and Yarn....

I feel like I'm apologizing a lot for not posting but all in all I just never really able to sit still long enough to write. This past week and a half has really been a slow down in my life with not having the ability to use my right arm on top of everything else going on in my life. I never really realized just how important my hand was. Everything in my life was stressful down to sleeping patterns until I realized that I could do stuff if I just worked slow and really pushed myself. Up until now I have been working on a blanket using "fall" colors. I was literally on the last 2 rows when I lost feeling in my right arm. Discouraged that I would mess it up; I have gone until today without crocheting and tonight I am happy to say that both blanket and baby hat are completed and it used almost 3 scanes of the yarn I had in my room. I have some tiny little balls of each color left, but I am using it for flowers and headbands.
So with this blanket complete, and still slowly recovering, I am going to be working on the pumpkin set for Kim. I am actually really eager to work on this project. I know it is going to take much effort but it will be well worth it I feel and for some reason I feel stronger with every stitch. Lately I haven't felt as if I have been fitting in anywhere or that I was really needed at all and thanks to Zach and other sad events of tonight; I have realized that my projects make who I am. It doesn't matter that I don't fit with my family it matters that I fit with the people I love and around me. The people who I care enough to use my artistic abilities for.
As for the love and sad part of this post......Earlier this week, I was able to finally chat with one of the newer nurses who work at the hospital that I work with and He actually complimented me on what I fear is my biggest problem. I care too much. lol. When I am able to work with the residents at MCM; no matter where they come from; I take the time to get to know each and every one of them. The residents and patients are the people that I normally spend all my time with and therefore I take the time as if I would with my closest friends. As for those people that bring out my artistic abilities....lets just say the Elderly of Millcreek Manor have a lot of my work. lol. Between headbands and slippers, they keep me busy but in the mean time I am trying my best to make them feel as much at home as I possibly can. Now too most people this doesn't sound like a bad thing but for those of us who work with the dieing and deceased; its terrible. The one thing they always tell people in any medical profession is don't get attached, but we are talking about spending more time with these people than I do with my own family. How can you not get attached? And that is just it, tonight another one of the many amazing people I have taken care of and loved spending time with is getting ready to pass away and I just want to sit here in silence and cry not only for her but for her family. I love all of these people as my own grandparents and they have all touched my life in a way no one will ever begin to express. I am a better person for knowing all of them and their families. I just want everyone to know that.
So now that I am in tears again, I think I am going to lay back down and just rest. After all, Its like Grandma E. told me today..."you heal better when you sleep...". I'm just hoping that tomorrow  brings smiles instead of tears.
Praying for a lot of special people tonight.

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